Not an inch more room to self-destruct...

It's proabably a crime that I haven't blogged in yonks, but I'm not the only one guilty of it these days. *cough and dramatic point*

Last night I saw the real life JRB live in the actual flesh and he was incredible and I'm exhausted right now.

I seriously can't put down how amazing he was. I thought he'd be awesome, but he exceeded every expectation I had.

Hmmmm I love London <3

It didn't mean a thing but it meant quite a lot to me - meant too much I can see...

I must be pretty naive to think that everyone would be really honest and everything. Because I'm so damn perfect myself. Obviously. *cough*

I'm paaaaaast the upset stage, and now I'm just really fromaged off :) Really. REALLY.
See, I don't appreciate liars, hypocrites, people who don't stick to their word and/or people who suddenly back out on you for mysterious lovers. Or any combination of the above, whatever suits.

Being such an utter bitch to you makes it hurt more trying to have a conversation, but beggars can't be choosers. I want you to talk to me, it's just I'm not that important to you anymore so I'm just gonna kick up a jealous fuss in the corner instead :)
BUT ARGHHH, AT LEAST REPLY TO MY ANGSTY COMMENTS.

So school's okay apart from VT groups, pathetic houses and ridiculous timings of the day.
But everything I want to look forward is so indefinite and kicking about in the air waiting for confirmation. And being a very impatient idiot, that makes life SO frustrating right now.

Anyone have a spare TARDIS cos I'm begging to go back about 5 weeks?

PLUS the school choir at LC we're oh so dedicated to has been demoted to a 'chamber choir' due to our lack of actual singers. Do you know why? IN FAVOUR OF A GLEE CHOIR.
A GLEE CHOIR?!?!? A GLEEEEEEE CHOIRRRRRRR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

The horror. Who needs a 'Glee Choir' - just look at our (comical) arrangement of Man In The Mirror...

On a happier note the week after JRB I'm flippin' well seeing Avenue Q innit? I'm looking forward to THAT, but financially I'm a-brickin' it. BRING ON THE MUSICAL (PAID) WORK.

I thought of you as everytng I ever had but couldn't keep...

Oh WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

End of summer? Whatever.

I'm getting a cold, I don't know if it's August or September, I don't want to go back tomorrow, I'm still hurting Cathy-style, and all my West Side Story bass dreams have been horrendously crushed by the arrival of the score and a run through today.

OH MY GOD BERNSTEIN, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE??

So yeah, not in a good mood.

Been in touch with this local recording studio (previously used by The Prodigy amongst others, wahey) and got given a quote. £23 an hour, which is actually pretty good (...I think/hope) considering the facilities and services. I dunnooooo. I'll have to work bloody fast to single-handedly sing and play piano, bass, guitar and drums to cheaply get 4/5 songs recorded.

So when I finally get this little EP done and out on iTunes, you're buying it, end of.

It will actually take me years to decide what songs I'm recording though. I'M SO INDECISIVE.
Summer Rain is pretty much a definite, given its cult status in my house. EURGH.

Off to go lie on the floor and moan about insignificant rubbish. BYE.

Throw down your gun, you might shoot yourself, or is that what you're trying to do?

Okay, no more cryptic blogging, and if I DO happen to indulge in a few rather enigmatic posts, I'd rather no one ask me about them anymore, okie dokie? :)

I appreciate you're lovely and being nice and everything, but if I haven't written it here, chances are I don't want to talk about it in any more depth.
My blog is my platform to rant and the like, and it means no one in theory HAS to listen to it, because (hopefully) you're not being forced to read this here 'drivel'.
It also doubles up as a virtual landfill site to dump all the cra...crazy stuff in my head.

And OHO there's a lot of that at the moment. Caffiene does strange things to me right now :| I think I'm tripping on coke..but the coke you get in a can and it's filled with eww-ish additives and chemicals etc etc?

In reality, I have nothing interesting to say to you tonight. Ta-rah all :)

Soon you'd leave me, off you would go in the mist of day...

Such a hardcore teenager I am.
Just been down ravin' to the proms like, Rodgers and Hammerstein, it's good sheeeeyat innit?

It's like, my Mum told me earlier I needed to do more 'teenage' things. I think she means she actually wants me to go out and get drunk and stuff. WTH.
It was almost as cringeworthy as the conversation we had at dinner about gay and lesbian teenagers, and how they can't possibly know how they feel or who they are. Please excuse me while I just go SCREAM ON THE ROOF.

Leachy boy just asked me for fashion advice. Oh, dear dear Stephen. Dear, dear misguided Stephen.

Wouldn't Gok Wan make a good Angel in Rent?

Argh as much as I obsess over new music theatre and the wonders of JRB etc etc etc, nothing beats traditional Broadway stuffs. If you don't know who Rodgers and Hammerstein are and you call yourself a musical theatre actor/actress, go slap yourself with a fish. HUH LEACHY BOY HUH? ;)

Today I spent a lot of money I shouldn't have spent. Maybe that makes me slightly more like the average teenager instead?

NO FEAR, I'm actually getting off my musical backside again and I'm throwing my CV around in various directions hoping for a response. Both my parents are convinced I'd get paid gooooood doing local singing teaching too, so I'm becoming a singing teacher. (They were SO enthsiastic earlier about me becoming one, twas most odd.)
Any takers for eing my first students? I'LL BRING BISCUITS?

Rather incredible last night celebrating Ellingwoof's momentous 16th.
Sadly the pictures of me are rather disturbing; I'd recommend you don't look at them if you don't want to be ill.
Had a proper good larrrrrrrf with the insane lunatics Ellingwoof managed to let loose from the asylum for the night. I do LOVE that bunch of people.
And ELlingwoof, in response to your blog, on behalf of Burty and myself, I must say we got swept up in the heat of the musical moment and had no idea we had to wait for the CD to sing Happy Birthday as well. Apologies.
We were going to sing it in harmony and in Turkish, but y'know, time and all. Maybe next year?

So earlier I was lonely and ended up watching the X Factor. Good God. I didn't think it could get much worse, I WAS SO VERY VERY WRONG.
But Katy Perry has pretty eyes and Louis is an idiot and he makes me laugh with his idiocy.
The fact they've admitted using autotune on the acts however is sickening. It's like when they use it on Glee when they don't even need it, EW EW EW.

Eurgh, started sorting out all my school stuff this afternoon. SO DEPRESSING. I love my disgustingly lazy summer routine :/

Your nightmares paint the silence...

This guy I know (and some of you dear readers may know him too) is an absolute legend. When I first heard about him, I hated him, and I didn't even know him...but we won't go into the reasons why. Then, he introduced himself to me last year, and (despite me being somewhat wary at first) we've always got on well since. I guess it helps he's a damn fine musician too.

I can come to him in any mood, with any problem, have pretty much any conversation with this guy, and yet I've never had the pleasure of meeting him in person. I guess that helps in a way when it comes to confiding in him though.
The thing I like most about this guy? His awesome advice. Tonight he's told me what he thinks the best solution is for my current 'situation', and I know he's right about it. Can I follow it through? I'm not so sure.

I also adore the fact he'll find me the most incredible songs, and he'll just KNOW I'll like them. If music was crack, he'd be my dealer.
No one else was really going to get me to listen to Metallica and Killswitch Engage, tbh.

OH MY GOD, my results have been so versatile. Not only have they got me taken out for a beautiful meal (that got gatecrashed by LC science teachers), they're also paying for my bus fare next week, BUT MOST EXCITINGLY AHHHHHHHHHHHH....

They've got me tickets to see my musical GOD Mr Jason Robert Brown.

Yes, JRB. The one I'm obsessed with. Jazz/theatre genius who wrote The Last 5 Years. AND he's playing in London, and I actually adore London. I don't care how much I had to pay for myself, I'm sure it'll be well worth it.
THEY CAME IN THE POST TODAY.

4 weeks tomorrow.
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO excited.

In other news, today I became a white van (wo)man. Basically ma grand-mere is moving house next week, and it's a new place so she's getting rid of ALL her old furniture. We've come off pretty well though; we've got 2 new, much comfier sofas (compared to, as described by my brother, the 'old 1989 concrete benches' that used to reside in the lounge) a few chairs, a new double bed and a desk :)

There was one catch. We had to go and get it all.

*Hilarity and comedy sketch-style antics ensue.*
My Dad (bless his heart and soul) hired a little white van and then somehow I got coaxed with money into getting up at 8am (otherwise known as stupid o' clock, ewww). So there was my Dad, my brother and I all bobbing along down the road in this little white van, making countless journies to and from Harborough all morning, and in between journeys shoving sofas through doorways and throwing mattresses down stairs. Seriously, some parts were pretty damn comical, even by OUR standards.

I have to say I think I know where I get my streak of stupidity from now. We were in the van and my Dad was like 'Hmm, why isn't there a rearview mirror? We'll have to go back and get one...'
I was the one to point out there obviously wouldn't be one inside a van, with the huge actual storage part behind us and no window. THAT'S WHY THERE ARE HUGE WINGMIRRORS ARGH.
Next time he teases me about bushes I'll use this as a reminder.

The next few (hundred) lines I feel must be recorded for historical purposes, however I must say if you were not present at the LC End of Term Concert this year, don't bother reading it because you will be extremely confused and even more convinced of my lunatic status.
HA, knew you'd be more inspired to read it now.
My brother seemed to subconsciously know I needed a good larrrrf, and he came to me the other day telling me he'd written a story entitled 'ROYYY invades the world' (remember the scary metal band that kept screaming ROYYY and Barstow was like 'Who's Roy?' and I just thought he needed some Strepsils?)
It basically starts off with Ellingwoof bumping into this ROYYY character (who I assume is the guitarist guy) who screams ROYYY at her and she turns into 'a ROYYY'...but, as my brother points out, in glasses. Burty then tries to rescue Ellingwoof to the tune of Batman, except it goes NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BURTONNNNN, and they ride in a Burtonmobile. But alas, ROYYY also turns Burty into a banjo-playing, hat-wearing ROYYY. ROYYY then goes on MSN and speaks to someone online. He sends them a file and they open it and it screams ROY ROY ROYYY (in 3D coming out of the screen, my brother points out) and turns them into a 'ROYYY'.
ROYYY invades the world. Summer Rain becomes Summer ROYYYY (and Ellingwoof raps on it about Twitter - this was rather amusing because according to my brother all rap music features 'WE SHUT IT DOWWWWN' and 'INNIT' and 'JASON DERUUUUULO' and numerous echoes), Facebook becomes ROYYY-Book, and Toy Story becomes ROYYY Story.
All this he made up, and somehow he managed to feature loads of people we knew in it and it was geniunely hilarious. I cried so much that night :')

Trying to read Hamlet for Lit (LOL almost wrote Hamley, something's rotten in the state of Denmark, it ain't no toy shop brother).
It's SO BLOODY DEPRESSING. Plus, every time I finish reading a scene I find my head starts to talk all Shakespearean and the like, and yesterday I tried to send a text after but it was plain odd talking like that...

Now the only question that remains for me tonight is do I follow the seemingly best advice or do I continue to wait? Last time things didn't end too well.

This has been a ramble. *hands bag of apologies*

I guess I'll wait another, but I will wait forever...

Guess the stresses of Hell Week and general Year 11-ness were all worth something then. Although I WAS convinced that they wouldn't have my envelope, because that would have to happen to me.
They proved me wrong, it was okay. Hope everyone's happy with what they got :)
2 A*s in Music and the 'other' English, 8 As and then a B in Graphics, which I very much expected since we never really knew what was happening;) I don't care about that at all, the lessons definitely are the highlights of my GCSE life.

So yeah, I'm really happy with the results :)
Wish I was geniuinely completely happy with things though. Still got this dragging ache at the back of my mind about something, but maybe if I'm patient we'll sort it. I goddamn hope we sort it soon. I'm never patient.

After 6 weeks or whatever I've finally started the holiday reading. Eurgh, I think I'd forgotten how to read. Almost done with the second book already though, WE'RE ON TRACK PEOPLE.

What else is there to report? Oho, the FREE CHARITY CONCERT WITH A BAR happened on Saturday. (I don't know why I continue to shout, there's not a lot to advertise anymore.)
Apart from a few minor stresses, slip ups and fluffed MJ covers on my part, it was a great night :) Becky reckons we raised almost £80 which is AWESOME considering it was all donations.
I don't think I'll be doing much tech work again in a hurry however.

A week on Monday we're back at school. 4 months today it's Christmas Eve.